


The Horny Stilinski Adventures

by Fletcher



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friendship, M/M, One Shot, POV Outsider, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 07:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fletcher/pseuds/Fletcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott thinks his best friend is very unlucky when the hot guy he was sleeping with, turns out be be his professor. When he keeps sleeping with him after finding out that he is his professor, Scott knows that Stiles is an idiot (and horny).</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Horny Stilinski Adventures

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: everything I know about college in America, I learned from watching movies.

“Scott, wake up! Your best friend needs you! Scott!”

Stiles decides to use the enormous book he’s holding as a weapon and smacks Scott on the head.

Scott finally wakes up, wearing his typical ‘confused’ face. “Oww, my head hurts. Oh my god, did you hit me with that?” He points at the book. “That’s like 3000 pages, I could have a concussion,” he says while rubbing his head very carefully.

“Dude, you’re fine, I’m the one with the problems around here.”

“Stiles, I have to finish this paper by four, and I still have to write 3 pages. You’re the one who needs to help me.”

“Fine, but in exchange I need your advice. Well, maybe advice is not the right word. Just let me talk to you so my brain can draw the right conclusions.”

“Deal.” They do their usual bro handshake, which took them years to fine-tune to perfection.

“Ok,” Stiles finally puts down his weapon and sits down, “I actually have several problems because let’s face it, I lead a doomed life. But there seems to be one very urgent one. And his name is Derek Hale. “

“Derek Hale? Am I supposed to know who that is? Oh, is he a boy band member, I know how much One Direction means to you.”

“Shh, this is not the time to discuss my guilty pleasures. And, shut up or I’ll have a very illuminating conversation about your favourite wank fantasy with Allison.”

“Stiles,” Scott looks scandalized, “we’re in the library.”

“People in the library need entertainment too, that’s why they come here. And for the love of god, stop interrupting me, this is really hard.” Stiles actually giggles.

“To quote a contemporary poet, I’ve got 99 problems and Derek Hale is one. Meaning, that I’ve slept with him.”

Not really seeing the problem there, Scott sneaks another glance at his paper from hell.

“Did I mention that he’s my professor and that he’s married?”

Scott finally loses his confused face and goes straight over to his shocked one.

“Oh my god, Stiles, you’ve been the victim of some dirty, old professor. This is like some porn situation, did he offer you better grades in exchange for sexual favors? You have to report this.”

Stiles quickly waves away Scott’s concerns. “Excuse me, my grades are freaking awesome. I had no idea that he was my professor when we slept together, just like he had no idea that I was going to be his student. We slept together this summer and now it is coming back to haunt me. It’s all very ‘I know who you did last summer.’ And here I was thinking that taking a class called “The history of the relationship between man and animal” would be a breeze.”

Stiles starts hitting his head on the table in frustration, “It’s just so unfair, cause he is so hot. I mean like really, really hot. If he was cast on a soap, he probably would be contractually obligated to never wear a shirt or pants.”

“Ok, I get it, he’s attractive. But he’s your professor which makes this like totally inappropriate. Just try to drop the class and if you can’t, just ignore him.”

“I don’t think I can just ignore him. Every time I looked at him in class, little Stiles was very excited.”

“Stiles, I’ve already told you that I don’t need to hear anything about your dick and it’s many feelings. And if you really are that horny, go hook up with Jackson.”

“I am never hooking up with Jackson again, he’s the one who got me in this mess in the first place. I only went to that bar where Derek picked me up, after he dumped me to go back to Danny. Besides, Jackson might be hot, but he is nothing compared to Derek in the sack. Seriously Scott, the things he did to me…”

Scott picks up Stiles’ book and smacks him on the head with it.

“Oww!”

“We are in the library, and I’m pretty sure that the girls at the table next to us have heard every word you just said.” Scott bravely looks at the girls next to him, who suddenly seem very occupied with their textbooks.

“Also, you haven’t explained how you know that he’s married.”

Stiles avoids looking at Scotts head before he continues his story.

“Well, I think I may have mentioned his hotness and somehow my whole hipster look must appeal to him as well. So it wasn’t exactly a one night stand. It was more like a series of one night stands. And then one night, I was over at his house and he was giving me a blow job,” Stiles slightly blushes at the memory.

“Then suddenly this woman came in and started shouting that he’s a liar and a cheater. I heard a lot of expletives in the time it took me to get on my pants. Then, I basically ran out of the door and I haven’t heard from him since. We didn’t even exchange last names, the only information I had about him was his first name, address and cell phone number. Until I found out, about two hours ago, that unfortunately sex god is not his full time occupation and that he also teaches at my school.”

“I don’t understand how these things keep happening to you, Stiles. What I do know is that right now, you are going to focus on finishing my paper. Because I deserve some help after suffering through so much disturbing information. And when you try to call him tonight, call me instead, we’ll hang out and play some video games. I will even cancel my plans with Allison,” Scott says with a tone that implies that this is the ultimate sacrifice a guy can make.

“I accept those terms and I’ll start with pointing out that you have a typo in your title.”

“Oh, fuck. I hate Professor Harris!”

*

Two weeks later, Scott decides to pay an unannounced visit to Stiles’ dorm. Stiles has been declining his invitations to hang out the past few days, claiming to be absorbed in Professor Martin’s nuclear physics course. Scott knows that Lydia Martin is as demanding as Professor Harris but he can’t help being a bit suspicious. Stiles is the smartest person he knows, but he doesn’t use his formidable brain when it comes to his love life.

That’s how he ended up hooking up with Jackson Whittemore, the biggest jerk that Beacon Hills has ever known. And his father’s deputy, which meant that his father used his power as sheriff to transfer the poor guy. College was pretty much the same story: there was the roommate who quickly turned into the ex-roommate, the guy who turned out to have grandchildren (who must have been a vampire to look that young), the frat guy who after a lot of experimenting decided that he was definitely straight and then there was Jackson again.

Mentally preparing himself, Scott takes out his key which according to Stiles’ dad should be used in emergencies. Stiles has a tendency to forget his Adderall which results in him being too busy to eat or drink.

“Please don’t be naked,” Scott thinks, “please don’t be naked.”

But when he finally opens the door, he doesn’t find any naked people. In fact, he doesn’t find anyone. Looking around, it seems that Stiles hasn’t been here in days. So, where has he been sleeping and who with?

Scott calls Jackson but he is all lovey-dovey with Danny again. His calls to Stiles are not answered. Scott sighs and decides to go back to Allison’s room.

*

One day and fifteen calls later and Scott still hasn’t heard anything from Stiles. Even Allison is worried, she is such a caring person.

Scott hopes that Derek Hale’s wife didn’t dump him in a ditch somewhere. This whole thing seem to have shifted from a porn movie to a Lifetime movie.

Luckily, there is one place where he knows he can find Stiles on a tuesday afternoon: Lydia Martin’s class. Missing that class is punishable by death, even a horny Stiles knows that.

Scott scans the room looking for his best friend and finds him, sitting in the last row unlike usual when he sits right in front of professor Martin so he can argue with her.

“Hello, former best friend. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself while I was busy worrying about you and the high crime rate of this place.

Stiles at least has the decency to look ashamed of himself.

“I’m really sorry, ok. I know that I’ve been a jerk to you but I’ve been dealing with things.”

“Things like Derek Hale?”

“Yes, and I’ll explain everything to you later but this class starts in exactly one minute and Lydia Martin is already shooting me dirty looks because I’m not sitting at our usual rendezvous spot.”

Scott examines Stiles’ face more closely and says, “I understand why you are avoiding eye contact, you look like you’ve been mauled by a lion. Maybe it’s time for me to learn something about nuclear physics. I think I’ll stay here until class is over. Then you can buy me a coffee and tell me all about the horny Stilinski adventures.”

*

Scott deliberately chooses the most expensive coffee he can spot on the Starbucks menu. For once, Stiles doesn’t seem to be in a rush to start talking so it’s up to Scott to come straight to the point.

“Are you having an affair with your married professor?”

“I’m happy to tell you that the answer to that question is _no_. I’ll start with the good news, he is not married. The woman who barged in that night was not his wife, but his crazy ex-wife Kate. Only she has a hard time accepting the ex-wife thing. But Derek managed to get a restraining order against her and she’s moved to Canada with her father.”

“And the professor part?”

“Jeez, Scott, you’re like a dog with a bone. Or, an adorable puppy in your case. I actually did something really unusual, I took your advice. Not the ignoring part because that was never going to happen. It took me a while but a couple of days ago, I managed to track down Erica Reyes and begged her to let me drop the class. And let me tell you that she is not a nice person, I basically sold my soul to her. But as of yesterday, I am officially no longer a student of Derek Hale and am now a loyal student of Professor Finstock and his fascinating “History of Sports”.

Scott takes a sip of his well deserved coffee and sounds impressed, “Wow, you must really like this guy. You hate sports.”

“Well, sacrifices must be made in the name of love.”

“Love?,” Scott asks.

“Scott, I think Derek might be my Allison,” Stiles confesses.

“Wow, I did not see that coming. Just out of curiosity, how old is Derek? More importantly, does he have grandchildren?”

“No worries, he has no offspring. He is 28 years old, I checked his ID to be sure, and apparently he is super brilliant and this is only his first year teaching. So, the whole accidentally sleeping with a student was a mindfuck for him too.”

“I’m sure you’ve spend the last few days finding out all kind of things about Derek Hale. So, when can I meet him? Just to make sure that he is not a serial killer.”

“Derek is not a serial killer,” Stiles replies, “he may look dangerous, but once you get to know him he is a total puppy, like you.”

The way that Stiles looks when he says that, just completely happy, convinces Scott that this is the real thing. Stiles is in love. He also realizes the serious consequences of Stiles officially having a boyfriend: Allison is going to start planning double dates.

*

After all that talking about Derek Hale, it feels strange actually meeting the guy. But, Stiles and Derek have been dating for over two months now and Stiles is still alive and talking, so the serial killer theory has been officially shelved. Weirdly, it turns out that Derek’s crazy ex-wife is also Allison’s estranged aunt, which brings the situation right back to soap territory.

They are having pizza because Allison thinks it’s important to keep things casual the first time you meet your significant other’s boyfriend. When Scott rightfully pointed out that she is his significant other and not Stiles, Allison just looked at him as if she couldn’t believe how delusional he was.

When Stiles and Derek finally arrive, it takes Scott only one quick look to completely understand Stiles’ moral struggles. Derek shakes Scott’s hand and says, “Nice to meet you, Scott,” even though his face tells a completely different story. “Allison, it’s good to see you again.”

“Hello, Derek. I’d give you a hug but I know you’re not fond of human interaction.”

Allison actually gets a fond smile for that comment. Scott silently wonders what he will have to say to ever get a smile from Derek.

Derek Hale may be smokin’ hot but talkative he is definitely not. But, it seems like Derek and Stiles don’t need words to communicate, one look seems to be all they need.

Of course since Stiles is present, there are no awkward silences that night. In fact, there may be a bit too much talk. Especially, when Stiles starts describing the night that he met Derek. One grumble from Derek, and he is silent. It’s magic, like Derek has installed an off switch on Stiles.

*

A couple of months later, Scott is busy studying for a test, his hate for Harris has turned into loathing. Suddenly, Stiles slides into the chair in front of him.

“Hey, best friend. Guess what?”

“What?”

“I have no problems. Stiles Stilinski is officially carefree.”

“I’m happy for you, dude. Can you help Scott McCall with this textbook, the only thing I understand is the introduction.”

“No problemo, what are best friends for? By the way, you’re learning the wrong chapter, the test is about chapter 11.”

Scott hits him, hard.


End file.
